3.8.06

Being A Creative

Is to be the kind of person where the feelings of being "free in love" come to reality. To possess the idea that nothing of true value in this world is out of reach. To have the optimism, faith and confidence that inherently accompanies the beginning of a creative binge. To be passionate about the universe as I perceive it. To never take anything for granted. Anticipating the sensitivity of adoring all that God has created in a feeble attempt to emulate.

There are times when loneliness becomes all too comfortable, even desirable. Yet I have a burning and craving to intimately know everything around me , an instinctual need to care that when not fulfilled will certainly bring the reality of all hope lost. And although I know that "they say" it's not politically correct or psychologically healthy to put ones identity in another person, place or thing, it escapes me how if creating is in the equation that putting at least a part of ones self into people, places or things is not inevitable so long as they can inspire. But the moment they kill my inspiration, they in fact murder my affection.

For many years I have made my living as a true creative, an artist in many mediums, a dreamer, it is all I have ever known. And I have the moods and temperament of such. Manic? Maybe, or maybe just extremely passionate--what I feel runs clean to my core. I am expressive to the point of aggravation or elation…

I have fought and continue to fight diligently to stay away from the shackles of mentality and ignorance that kill inspiration. Inspiration to create not only represents my essence, it is what makes life worth living for me. I must dream, a dreamer in every sense of the word, moreover I love to mold my dreams into visual focus.

I'm the proverbial starving artist. Though I am wealthier than men with mountains of gold.
I truly possess what I have and will never be robbed of it be that I give it away or use it for trade.

Liberals think of me as conservative, the conservatives label me liberal, pseudo intellects think I'm crazy and fools think I'm a saint. Sharp as a razer with and catch details that are not important to any others. Arrogant pompous? I don't mean to be but have been called them many times. My mind runs through my heart. I can only be what I am.

I love to laugh and am driven to create laughter when there is none. I hate to cry but can create sadness at the drop of a hat. Or from one of a billion memories.

I am honest, my palms forever skyward. And so sensitive that I have gotten in trouble on more than one occasion trying to protect feeling of others except through my arts.

I received the desire to be adventurous and eager to learn and explore about everything. Learning is the ambulation for my creativity...the more I learn the better I render.